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Jennifer Lane Books

Hi, I'm Jen, a psychologist/author (psycho author) in Columbus, Ohio. I write romantic suspense for adults and new adults. And I'm a voracious reader of romance and fiction. I love laughing, swimming, volleyball, and Grumpy Cat.

Currently reading

Standing at the Crossroads: Next Steps for High-Achieving Women
Patricia J. Ohlott, Marian N. Ruderman
The Space Between
Victoria H. Smith
Chasing Hope
Kathryn Cushman
Lover Awakened - J.R. Ward We Must Be Masochists for Loving Zsadist So Much

I do love a tortured hero, and based on so many readers telling me Zsadist is their favorite brother, I'm not alone. There's just something about a man who's so damaged he believes he's beyond redemption. When his loved ones refuse to let him succumb to his misery and instead push him to be the good man they know he is, it's beautiful to watch him emerge from his pain, scarred yet strong.

But wow, Zsadist's path is arduous. I grew frustrated by how many times he pushes Bella away due to the demons in his head.

My favorite parts of the story are Zsadist's interactions with his twin, Phury. Through the twins' flashbacks we learn piece by piece of his harrowing background. Because Zsadist feels so unworthy, he keeps trying to convince Phury to take Bella, the woman who loves Zsadist.

"Pretty damn soon she's going to snap out of this post-traumatic whatever she's got going on and she's going to want someone real."

Phury shook his head. "Z, you're crazy. How can you say you want me to be with her? It'll kill you."

Zsadist's face changed and the expression was a shocker.
Such sorrow, Phury thought. Of a depth that seemed impossible.

And then the male came forward. Phury braced himself for . . . God, he had no idea what was coming at him.

When Z's hand lifted, it was not in anger or with violence. And as Phury felt his twin's palm land lightly on his face, he couldn't remember the last time Z had touched him with any gentleness. Or touched him at all.

Zsadist's voice was low and quiet as his thumb went back and forth on an unmarred cheek.

"You are the male I might have been. You are the potential I had and lost. You are the honor and the strength and the kindness she needs. You'll take care of her. I want you to take care of her."

Speeches like that made me grab the tissues! And Phury got me crying too:

Phury knelt beside Zsadist and stroked his face. "I've only ever had you to live for. If you die I have nothing. I'm utterly lost. And you are needed here."

Zsadist tried to reach out, but couldn't lift his arms as Phury stood up.

"God, Z, I keep thinking this tragedy of ours is going to be over. But it just keeps going, doesn't it?"


How awesome that J.R. Ward acknowledges the need for therapy in this series. The scenes with John are heartrending. Tohr and Butch are wonderful father figures.

It's taking me a while to understand the character of "Rehv" but I did find it cool how heroin affected sympaths differently than other vampires (numbing pleasure instead of increasing it). I don't quite understand why sympaths are ostracized yet.

I find myself rather disinterested in the scenes involving the lessers. I guess it's difficult to create emotionally compelling characters when they don't have hearts.

Thanks for introducing me to the amazing character of Zsadist, goodreads friends!